Pride and fear

I’ve written more then once about my best friend Tab. She’s my Angel, my mounted trooper, my best friend in the world, and some one I love. Now when you think of the word love every one will associate it with their own meaning. some think ‘familial love’ others will automatically draw the conclusion of it being ‘romantic love’ but neither of these really fit. No with Tab it’s just love for the sake of love. She graduates collage soon and with that means the coming of internship some where. This makes me proud beyond words of my very special friend. But it also breaks me great, in some aspects nearly crippling fear. For five years Tab has been there for me, been a shoulder to cry on, a friend to curl up on the couch with and watch movies, a random hug, and in one case a metaphorical slap across the face and demanding I stay with it because I was so very close to achieving my goals and she wasn’t going to let me walk away from that. It’s something that I would do for her in a heart beat. The fear comes from the possibility (and a very real one at that) that her internship and later her career may take her so very far away from me that I may not ever get to spend very much time with her again. Now I grant you such uncertainties are the way of life. I know she may have to do these things and I will love her and support her from where ever I am to where ever she is. But just knowing that this may wind up being our last season getting to reenact together, getting to just randomly show up at one another’s house and hang out for a day. Where I live to the her current area is one thing. If it wound up being here to Knoxville area for example. I’d still find a way to make it work. I have friends who wouldn’t mind me as a room mate if that were the case. I just fear where the world will take us, how far it will take my friend and safe person from me.

About redtiebugler

I am just your standard A-typical salt of the earth Pagan. I enjoy horse back riding, camping, hiking, kayaking, day trips to Hell (it's a real place in Michigan, and yes it freezes over on a wintrily basis.
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2 Responses to Pride and fear

  1. Even with the distance, your never that far away. Don’t worry about the unknown, I know that’s easier said than done, but change is not as bad as it seems. Besides there is no guarantee that miles will separate, and most unlikely.

    • redtiebugler says:

      I know it’s just as likely you’d wind up with an internship in Chicago or here or some here else in the state. You’re my dearest, truest friend and I can’t not worry. If you wind up far away who’s going to help me give Keith crap?

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